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Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
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10:51p - wahahaha!
humor to save my sanity:
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Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss.
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
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I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.
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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
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Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.
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Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.
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I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
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I love your smile, your face and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
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My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife.
Marrying you screwed up my life.
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I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
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My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.
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My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe "Go to Hell!"
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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: sounds from Superman 2 on Cinemax (4 comments |comment on this)
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10:57p - Dilbert's Rules of Life
(this would be so much funnier if i had a boss i could say these things to.)
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem; you have a perception problem.
My reality check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
current mood:  tired
current music: General Zod is so cool! (3 comments |comment on this)
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