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Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
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1:43a - stop and smell the flowers
recently, many couple-friends have broken up. i've been seeing a lot of blog entries filled with pain, despair, anger, resignation, sorrow, and apology.
i was reading, and i was waiting for the pang of pain in my own chest that indicated my sympathy and my memory of my own tragedies. but it came not. the pang arrived when i discovered some tiny proof of an ex's existence, and i remembered.
i remember what it's like, to lose a love, to feel like your world has ended, like your heart has been ripped from your rib cage and is displayed in front of you, your life disappearing beat by fading beat. i remember what it's like to be lost and alone, to have your body wracked by sobs that never seem to end.
i remember when all songs seemed to sing of my hurt, when all images seems diabolically designed to remind me of what i did not have. i remember when every little word could spell the difference between my joy and my sorrow. i remember my heart breaking.
i remember all of that.
the good news is this: it does pass. you do feel better eventually. it's never easy, and it hurts like effing hell everyday. it often feels futile to even attempt to get over it. but things change, and you emerge: changed, but alive.
current mood: the smile of the forgetful
current music: The Purplechickens - Dream Systems (5 comments |comment on this)
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